Dear Dad…

Mom is making her third fourth cup of coffee, so I thought I’d send you an email. How’s Bamako? It must be awful. Mom keeps saying you want to come home soon. Or maybe it’s that she wants you to come home soon? Anyway…

I just wanted you to know that I’ve been helping Mom while you’re away. You’re welcome! If you want to bring me a thank-you gift, I like bananas, metal spoons and iPhones. And I suspect I’d like one of those Dr Pepper things you two keep buying and not sharing.

I’m taking my role as Mom’s helper very seriously. So waking up before 6am (bright-eyed and poofy-diapered!) is a given. I’ve gotten her on a breakfast routine that allows her to drink her first cup while I watch an episode of Baby Einstein. Not sure why she feels the need to strap me into my booster-restraint seat for this activity, but I go with it. And I sing along as loudly as possible so the neighbors will know I’m teaching her a lot about farm animals.

Second bath of the day… before noon!

You’ll be so proud. I’ve taught her to eat Cheerios out of my hand! No more mindlessly eating that peanut butter & honey toast like she used to. I now insist that every other bite she takes is a hand-selected, pre-tasted, whole grain treat.

I’ve also taught her to brush my teeth, but just the front parts. Why brush what people can’t see? Such a waste of time. Especially since I really should get back to the kitchen to finish biting into each and every bouillon cube. I added this task to my to-do list while reorganizing the pantry. Almond extract next to the kidney beans. Cornmeal next to the tea bags. (Those tea bag things taste nasty, by the way.)

Reorganizing the kitchen

I also took care of the clutter in that drawer of Tupperware containers. And by ‘took care of’ I mean I shoved as many  lids as possible under the freezer. But now the Tupperware drawer closes like a charm! And opens. And closes. And opens. And closes…

On that note, I have started stashing my favorite toys around the apartment in case of an emergency. I’m not sure what kind of emergency, but I want to be prepared. So my Sophie giraffe and yellow jingle ball are wedged between the sliding glass doors, my toy phone and a couple books are under the sofa, my magnetic alphabet letters R and H are with the cornmeal and tea bags, and my hairbrush and singing hippo are behind my crib.

Tanti Fatou Kiné is here for a couple days. I helped her unpack her suitcase.

Mom has been making baby food just barely faster than I can eat it. So I upped my intake to help finish off a few things. Last night I ate pears, green beans, butternut squash, pasta & tomato sauce, mango, yogurt and Grape Nuts. Oh, and I helped eat some cauliflower and broccoli too. After all that help, she had the nerve to seem put out by my extra diapers today. People can be so ungrateful.

The new library


But we’re still friends, so I didn’t complain when she read me the same book four times rather than walking the whole 10 feet across the living room to get me a fresh one. Oh, the living room! I almost forgot. I redecorated it for her. The big, long sofa cushion is now a slide that leads right into the rocking horse. (Tricky, but I figured out how to stop in time.) The smaller cushions make good weapons. I should probably stash some of those around the apartment too… You know. Just in case. And my inflata-pool is the new library.

I also redecorated a couple rugs. (Don’t ask, okay?)

Spa treatment

I know Mom likes to be pampered, so I figured she’d like for me to be pampered as well. So I took the liberty of doing a little avocado face mask. I’ve never looked better.

I did fail in one area. I’ve tried so hard to stay up to keep her company at night, but I’m just beat after a whole day of helping. So every night I’ve fallen soundly asleep by 8pm. I’m so sorry to let you down like that.  But don’t you worry. I’m nailing that pre-dawn wake up like a champ.

Dad, you’d better come home soon. Mom just put my diaper rash cream in the fridge because her brain is mush. Maybe I should wake up extra early tomorrow to give her more time to wake up before the day really gets going…

Hurry home!