I just said
goodbye ‘see you soon, inchalla‘ to a good friend.
She’s the kind of friend who’s always up for a new experience (Sugar-waxing? Explore a market? Horse-cart ride? Sure!). But she also gets that the adventure has to wrap up before preschool pick-up time. She’s the kind of friend that prefers ordering pizza over throwing a fancy dinner party and understands the benefits of a good pair of chayas. She’s the kind of friend that you can text when your toddler is driving you bonkers and know that instead of judgment, you’ll get a hilarious-but-compassionate reply.
So yeah, this goodbye was a tough one. And everything in my expat-self wants to become tougher because of it. In this lifestyle, there are always too many goodbyes just around the corner – both the planned ones and the emergencies that snatch a friend away overnight. It doesn’t take long for the goodbyes to get too hard, too often and all you want to do is shut down emotionally.
This afternoon as I watched Sarah walk out my door for the last time, with her preggo belly and a tattooed arm extended to hold her daughter’s hand, two thoughts crashed in my brain at once:
1. This is too hard. I’m finished. I’m done opening my heart up to make friends, knowing they’ll get taken away six months, a year or two years later. I don’t want to risk the heartache.
2. This is too precious. As hard as it is, I have to choose to continue opening myself up to these sweet friendships. I don’t want to risk missing out on a gift this meaningful.
So, as odd as it sounds… In honor of you Sarah, I promise I will make more friends. I will choose to risk the hard goodbyes because you’ve shown me that the potential for a great friendship is worth it.
And, yes, we will see you guys soon, inchalla!