“I can’t take this anymore,” I hissed, holding my daughter by her armpits, storming out the back door without making eye contact with anyone.
It had been a pretty typical morning. Make breakfast x4, get three of us dressed, teeth brushed and hair fixed, snacks made, a couple of loads of of laundry started… you know. We were out the door on time and everyone was even in fairly good moods and no one got upset about not finding the exact shoe they wanted to wear.
But as I sat there before the second song even started, something just snapped. Maybe it was one child announcing they needed to pee, even though I had just done a bathroom run. Maybe it was the Cheerios crunching under my feet from snacks dropping, even though I had asked them to be more careful. Maybe it was the sand in my eyes from my son taking his shoes off and accidentally snapping a dirty sock my direction in the process. Whatever it was, the straw hit the camel’s back and I freaking lost it.
Right there in church.
Before the second song.
I mean of all places to have a Mom-meltdown, our church is about the best place I can think of. On my way out the back door, I avoided eye contact with a good handful of women who would have offered me a real hug, a kind word – or even better, a wordless hug as I cried.
But I didn’t want any of that. I was angry. I was tired. I was frustrated. Did I mention I was angry?
I held my daughter’s hand and walked around for about 15 minutes, very aware that most people probably just noticed our matching dresses and assumed I had it all much more together than I do – and had no clue I was silently fuming to God.
As my venomous feelings poured out from my heart, blaming everyone and everything but myself for this craptacular mess, over the sound of my own words I quietly heard God say, “Come to me, you are tired and weary. Come to me.” The kindness washed over me and I eventually started to calm down, wiping away the tears of frustration and anger.
Later I Googled the reference and found the full verse in Matthew 11:28. “Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Yup, I’d say ‘weary and carry heavy burdens’ about sums it up.
It’a an appropriate verse for Palm Sunday, one week before Easter Sunday, which commemorates people laying down palm branches for Jesus to enter Jerusalem on. I get the idea this is like a New Testament version of the red carpet. But unlike untouchable, unreachable celebrities, Jesus calls us to come to Him and gives us rest. And so much more.
On May 6th, some of the moms from our church (including the tired and weary, as well as the good huggers with a kind word) will be having breakfast together and talking about the joys and challenges of raising little expats. If you’d like to join us, shoot me an email.